"A Real Congenial Bloke"

(With apologies to C.J.Dennis!)

Now I've sort o' studied sellin', for I've met a tidy few

O' fellers tryin' real damn hard to con meself into

Buyin' things I didn't want, or need to use at work,

As soon as they walks out, I thinks, "Well blimey what a berk! -

I reckon I could better that, if not, well I'll go he,

If there's a firm that wants me, then I'm sure that I could be

A real fantastic salesman - yep, one who'd never fail",

So I went and gave me notice. The boss said, "That's a nail -

That you've drove in me coffin - can't stand to lose such blokes,

Go outa here an' come back in an' tell me it's a hoax."

Alas, I could do no such thing - me mind it was made up,

(And that was long before me win upon the Melbourne Cup.)

If I'd 'ave known that I would win an awful lot o' dough,

I mighta thought about it more - before I said I'd go,

But now it's done, I'm bound to leave; I've counted up the dates,

And find that now it's time to go, and leave behind me mates.

Especially me cobber Jeff - 'e's not yer av'rage bloke,

I thinks a lot of 'im, yer know, ('e doesn't even smoke!)

An' all the other guys an' dolls around this 'ere joint,

I'll miss 'em all - I can't be much more strong about that point.

And now it's time to say "So long" (I really mustn't cry),

I only want to say farewell - it's not me last goodbye,

I'll come back 'ere an' haunt me mates an' p'raps the foreman too,

But now I'll say, "So long for now, I wish you fond adieu".